Seminary Psycho Tests

Prior to going to seminary I had to take a ton of psychological, intelligence, and aptitude tests.  I also got to do the famous inkblots.  I had fun with those.  All designed to make sure you’re not looney.  I was accepted to seminary; so I guess I wasn’t looney.  However, I am quite loopy.  I am thinking of the WAIS-IV that I took.  When I looked at the score reports and what-not, I was glad to see that my scores were high.  Very high.  I am not exactly unintelligent; however, I don’t like making a point of it, because I kind of like being anonymous.  What’s the point of measuring intelligence anyway?  It really doesn’t make a person a better human being; in fact, I think it makes one more prone to hubris and spin; just another way to categorize and minimize those on the fringes of society.  I choose to be one of those on the fringe anyway.  Isn’t that where life is lived?  For me, life must be raw and unfettered.  Yes, it is nice to have a comfortable bed, warm clothes, and food.  We all know a philosophers philosophy ends the moment shit happens to him.  It truly shows the un-importance and meaningless scurrying we do to capture things that last only for a moment.  Intelligence is like beauty is like the human body.  It turns to dust; dust that blows into someone’s eyes annoying them.  Love though will last and will be a balm to the eye’s of those blinded by the greed of those seeking momentary fame in the center of the mass of humanity.

This reminds me of a conference I went to in Boston when I was doing Combat Developments for the JAGC.  It was a really cool conference dealing with stuff (a lot of it black so it’s technically stuff).  I was close to a retiring point and used the conference as a career sounding board.  I got several job offers on the spot simply because I had a couple of things they wanted:  clearance, intelligence, a great personality (my ex-wife said I could charm the knickers off a nun-I guess I did once), and an ability to forecast trends (predict the future).  Had I taken the best offer, I would no doubt be sitting somewhere in a nice lush house in a nice lush city with a super pay check on top of my super retirement pay, feeling miserable.   Why?

Money really is irrelevant to happiness.  It doesn’t make a person happy.  To get a ton a money requires a ton of sacrifice in things like peace of mind.  I am bothered that anything I create might be used to kill another human being; or an animal; or even a tree, a bush, a rock, or any part of the earth.  As a creator blessed by the divine in whatever form she chooses, I have no right to destroy.  One cannot create something new intending it to destroy without it disrupting the fabric of being.  It is as if the soul of the universe is being ripped out of itself.  I knew if I was seduced by wealth what it would really bring me.  I have interacted with some folks who really don’t see that.  They smile a great and happy cause; but behind them is the stench of death.  In this putrid cloud of death are the women and children killed by the inventions of men like me living comfortable lives in comfortable beds with warm clothes and good food.  The voices of the shattered cry out and the mother who made us all hears and she will respond most vociferously.  We have been blessed in this country with great things.  However, we rape and we murder.  Our time is at an end; another is coming.  I hope that they will be a better taskmaster than we have been.

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